写在前面：

转载这篇文章的目的纯属学术层面的扯淡。

“沙利文诉纽约时报案”里面，引入了一个“实际恶意原则”。认为原告方要证实被告方存在诽谤，必须原告方主动证明被告方“主观上存在实际恶意”，才能定罪。

当然，这个后来的一系列修订中把这个解释扩大到针对被告方是相对弱势群体的一方。比如：新闻媒体相比政府，普通老百姓相对于警察或者名人。如果再结合“米兰达宣言”（沉默权），强势方被弱势方“诽谤”后，几乎拿弱势方没有任何办法。除非弱势方自己宣布，自己带着“主观实际恶意去诽谤”。

因为上传事发视频并且“诽谤成都警察”而被成都警方逮捕的何川，没有米兰达宣言的保护，也没有“实际恶意原则”的保护，就事论事，那随便警方怎么捏都可以了。

（http://news.sina.com.cn/c/2008-05-25/054515613069.shtml  成都警方称女警搭救灾帐篷打麻将纯属谣言）

PS: 事实上，在网上最初的版本中并没有看见几个警察打麻将的说法，而是说看见有几个人在帐篷中打机麻，其中有一个女警察。不知道这算不算成都警方在“诽谤”呢？

本文转贴链接为：

方流芳编译：纽约时报诉沙利文案

http://www.law-frontier.com/ReadNews.asp?NewsID=320&BigClassID=20&SmallClassID=24&SpecialID=22 

--无力，但是继续关注！有声音，证明人还活着！有争议，证明人还没有失去希望！

1、贝森路事件的警民冲突中，使用帐篷者，出言不逊的女警，打人的警察，未受到任何法律处理。而“暴民”纷纷被捕，举报者甚至被刑事拘留。

http://news.qq.com/a/20080524/000285.htm (已经被和谐)

http://news.sina.com.cn/c/2008-05-24/035113917359s.shtml  (Sina的暂时还没和谐) 时间16:13

成都警方处理街头救灾帐篷与市民发生冲突

2、黑心商家的帐篷销售价竟远低于红10字会精确无比的1174元，而且黑心商家居然居然还冒天下之大不韪，擅自加盖红10字标记。当然要严惩，居然敢和红10字会恶性竞争，以后红10字会还怎么赚钱？？？？

http://news.21cn.com/domestic/difang/2008/05/24/4759770.shtml

成都现救灾帐篷续:商家擅自盖红十字会标志

PS:蜀山行的老板是李永斌，收件人是锦江红十字会李永斌，为什么他能拿到货？李永斌正常卖帐篷是正常经营行为，为什么他还会私自加上红十字会标记来让自己被定罪呢？

3、外聘人员，又是外聘人员。外聘人员，多少罪恶假你的手得以掩藏？罗江武装部悍然侵吞救灾物资的居然又是地位最低的外聘人员。打打小苍蝇，大老虎就安全了。

http://news.qq.com/a/20080523/004429.htm

四川罗江县武装部人员侵占救灾物资被拘留

立此存证！拭目以待！！！！！！

--批评社会，就是臭知识分子存在的意义之一

募捐-->采购-->分发-->重建

1、募捐：

必须红十字会或者慈善总会授权，否则就是违法。也许是因为使用了“红十字会的品牌”，善款必须“依法”截流一个百分比；

这部分内容来自官方报道以及《红十字会募捐和接受捐赠工作条例》

2、采购：

CCTV-4采访，红十字会官员出言13000元一顶帐篷-->红十字会找不到这个人-->又找到了，口误-->红十字会每顶帐篷全国最低价1174，每次公布的帐篷数据都是严格按照1174计算出来的-->好事者查询到很多厂家的标准赈灾帐篷零售和批发价都没有超过1000元

这部分内容来自官方报道和天涯社区

3、分发：

成都捉鬼不成，反被鬼捉-->蜀山行户外作为替罪羊被警方推出-->却无法解释李永斌为何能利用锦江红十字会的地址收到宁波的救灾帐篷，且其售价仍远低于1174-->贝森南路事件中，帐篷是深圳和秦皇岛生产的，日期是2005年，蜀山行替罪羊不合格，还需要寻找其他替罪羊-->科威特红新月帐篷至今没有一个哪怕不合格的替罪羊

这部分内容来自天涯社区和官方报道

4、重建：

王石的捐赠不说，灾区救护还没有完成，万科就拿到重建第一单，可谓史上最快速黑箱了。万科的后续一亿“捐赠”被大为广播，而事实上只是一个上限数字，并且不是捐赠。婊子继续当，牌坊还想立！

这部分来自官方报道。并推荐分析链接：

人民网海南视窗特约评论员：矢弓   矢弓评论：万科哪里捐款一个亿？

http://hi.people.com.cn/2008/05/22/380782.html

--因为链接实在是太多太多了，不想一一列出，这些都可以用Google搜索到，最次还能在Google Cache中找到尚有余温的尸体。

--赈灾就是块大蛋糕，人人都想吃一口。中国人的强大凝聚力，极其可能因为这些细节而再次涣散。

--批评社会，就是臭知识分子存在的意义之一

国内这次通货膨胀，直接对低收入人群的生活造成了较大的冲击。而事实上对于中高收入人群来说，影响非常的小。

如果国家能够通过退税手段，根据头年的税务情况，而对低收入人群退税，那么可以很大程度上缓解目前的社会矛盾。

现在中国的个税制度，只有收税，没有退税。即便有心帮助穷人也有心无力，如果依靠各级官僚层层实施，从制度上就很容易滋生腐败。

社会财富的公平分配，又需要完善的监督制度，完善的监督制度又需要独立自由的言论。一环扣一环。

路漫漫其修远兮。。。Sigh

转载自“傻逼老愤青”老罗的Blog 原文链接为：http://www.luoyonghao.net/blogs/luoyonghao/archives/121503.aspx

1：爱国主义是无赖最后的避难所。——塞缪尔•约翰逊（Samuel Johnson1 ）

2：爱国主义就是积极地为了微不足道的原因杀人并被杀。——勃特兰•罗素

3：爱国主义是超越于原则之上的对于不动产的一种专横的崇拜。——-乔治•简•纳森

4：除非你把爱国主义从人类中驱逐出去，否则你将永远不会拥有一个宁静的世界。爱国主义是一种有害的、精神错乱的白痴形式。爱国主义就是让你确信这个国家比所有其他的国家都要出色，只因为你生在这里。——乔治•肖伯纳

5：爱国主义：一堆随时可以被任何野心家所点燃，去照亮他的名字的易燃垃圾。——安卜罗斯•皮尔斯

6：当爱国主义涉入认知领域时，是一个应该被扔出门外的混小子。——阿瑟•叔本华

7：那些没有自尊的人仍然可以是爱国的，他们可以为少数牺牲多数。他们热爱他们坟墓的泥土，但他们对那种可以使他们的肉体生机勃勃的精神却毫无同情心。爱国主义是他们脑袋里的蛆。——亨利•大卫•梭罗

8：民族主义是我们的乱伦模式，是我们的偶像崇拜，是我们的疯狂。“爱国主义”是它的迷信崇拜。不必说，我所谓的 “爱国主义”态度将自己的国家置于人道之上，置于正义与真理的原则之上。——埃里克•弗罗姆

9：要让我们爱我们的国家，我们的国家应该可爱才行。——爱德蒙•柏克

10：真正的爱国主义不排斥对于其他人的爱国主义的理解。——伊丽莎白女王二世

11：异议是爱国的最高形式——托马斯．杰弗逊

12：有这么一群人，在日本叫法西斯，在德国叫纳粹，在中国叫爱国者! ——王朔说

13：爱国者的责任就是保护国家不受政府侵犯。——托马斯·潘恩

14：对祖国来说，没有比一切都满意的爱国者更可怕的敌人了。——涅克拉索夫

15：争你自己的自由就是争国家的自由，争你自己的权利就是争国家的权利。因为自由平等的国家不是一群奴才建造得起来的！——胡适

16：人权才是一个国家最大的面子。……一个政权如果关起门来都不能维护自己本国普通公民的权利，它有什么资格在国际舞台上维护这个国家的权利，它的合法性就会遭到质疑。——张思之

17：恶国家甚于无国家；……我们爱的是国家为人民谋幸福的国家，不是人民为国家做牺牲的国家。——陈独秀

18：每当一个国家的政治、经济出现重大危机的时候，爱国主义的破旗就又散发出臭味来。——列宁

1、在MSN上，QQ上挂上一颗心；
2、然后拉起横幅，遮住大半个家乐福的进出口，影响家乐福的正常营业；
3、辱骂（可能的话还可以殴打）想进家乐福买质量可靠并且价格便宜商品的“不爱国”的穷人；
4、用水瓶子扔试图表达不同观点的人，在其家门口扔屎盆子。

这可能是有史以来我看过的最廉价的“爱国”了。当我做完这些，我就发现我自己已经是一个完全彻底标准的“爱国者”了。为此我激动得难以自制，甚至泪流满面。

========

当我看见城管肆意殴打小商小贩，肆意剥夺最底层人民的生存权的时候，我只敢站在旁边，因为我害怕挨打甚至失去生命；

当我面对高企的房价，垄断的石油公司，垄断的通信公司高昂的价格严重阻碍经济发展的时候，我不敢去抗议，因为我害怕失去生命甚至牵连我的家庭；

当我看见贪官污吏一心为己，置人民群众的生死和国家利益于不顾，我不敢去上告，因为我害怕我这样可能会，挨打、关进监狱、失去生命，并且肯定会牵连到我的家庭。

因为如此，在无数个夜里，我难过，我自责，我悲哀。我觉得自己根本不配称为一个中国人，我一点都不爱自己的国家。

========

但是今天，我发现，我不是，我只需要做一点点廉价的小事，我就可以爱国了，就是一个完全彻底的爱国者了。

========

这段日子里，让我最伤心的一句话就是：“这是一个无权看CNN的国家，这确是一个有权抵制CNN的国家”！！！

真的，正版的中国心  点击下载中国心

假的，盗版的中国心

这几天因为需要和地球那边的人用MSN Messenger进行一些联系，所以不得不过成了伊拉克时间。

结果MSN Messenger偏偏在这个时候捣鬼，不停的被断掉，重新登陆就不停跳出80072745错误，而且明明是登陆上去了，又立刻被闪断。我彻底检查了计算机的病毒和木马，确定计算机处于正常工作状态。然后又怀疑屡教不改的成都电信又进行了DNS劫持，但是多次tracert后，发现也不是这帮烂人干的坏事。所有的尝试都没用，什么时候能登陆MSN Messnger似乎完全取决于人品。

郁闷无比之余，想起自己还有一个hotmail马甲帐号。万般无奈之下，用马甲帐号进行登陆，结果奇迹发生了，很轻松就登陆上去了。我连续断掉，然后连续几次登陆，每次都轻松登陆了。

最后，不得不联想到我们互联网上伟大无比的人品仲裁器----GFW，这个人类有史以来最庞大也是最强大的互联网信息分析和过滤系统。

但是随后又很纳闷了，我一个升斗小民，每天为了糊口辛苦奔波，哪有时间去做一些“不和谐”的事情啊，而且我一直还是坚决反对FLG的！为什么就被盯上了呢？随后打开hotmail，看看有没有联系的邮件。然后就发现一个多星期前有一个wj2007006(at)hotmail.com的帐号曾经给我发过一封邮件，信件大概都是一些“不和谐”的内容。这个联系人是几个月以前无意中添加的，后来都忘记了。

联想到这一点，赶快上Google去查，结果发现一大堆中招的兄弟姐妹。大家痛哭流涕反省自己的人品后，然后坚定的把这些“不和谐”的联系人给删除了，然后就能够很“和谐”的登陆了。

当然，我马上就这么做了，不过目前还是80072745错误，我想不管如何，这个肯定是因为我的人品的原因了，也许是我反省得不够，也许是为时已晚，GFW认为我这个帐号已经不可救药了，再或者，还有其他“不和谐”联系人存在。

不管如何，我写下以上这些文字，目的是提醒每一个使用MSN Messneger的人。不要想耍花样，GFW是无所不在的，不管是在现实生活还是在互联网上，都应该老老实实做人，和GFW保持高度一致。要知道，GFW一直在看着你。

"Big Brother is watching you...."----《1984》

原贴地址：http://bbs.hangzhou.com.cn/thread-4599097-1-1.html

08年网名人-------郑继超

今天在新 闻-联 播中看到咱们胡 -总在那户村民家喝冰冷的自来水镜头，心中自然感动，随手搜了一下那位农民的名字，没想到这位农民大叔短短三个月已经受到了各级别领导慰问加两拨记者的采访，真乃人生奇迹，难道咱们都错了？

　　先看第七次：
　　第七次
　　时间：2008年1月12日
　　12日下午，胡 ZONG顶风冒雪，专程前往淮河王家坝闸视察。去年夏季，为了淮河防汛大局，蓄洪区群众作出了巨大牺性。胡 ZONG惦念着蓄洪区的乡亲们，特意来到阜南县王家坝镇李郢村郑台孜庄台看望。胡 ZONG实地察看了庄台硬化护坡，察看了村里张贴的蓄洪补偿公示表，并来到村民郑继超家里。
　　一进屋，胡 ZONG就拉着主人的手，深情地说：“去年夏天淮河发大水，乡亲们遭灾了。现在已是寒冬腊月，你们生产生活上还有哪些困难，我一直放心不下，今天特地来看看。”郑继超告诉胡 ZONG，依靠党委和政府的帮助，自己家盖起了新房，生活也都有了保障。“国家给的蓄洪补偿款发到手了吗？”胡 ZONG。 “发到手了，在这儿呢！”郑继超说着，从胸口的衣兜里掏出一个红色存折。胡 ZONG接过存折，一边看一边念着款数，念完后笑着对郑继超说：“这样，我心里就踏实了。”
　　离开郑继超家时，看到他家院子里架起了自来水管，胡 ZONG便走过去，拧开水龙头，用手捧起冰凉的水，喝了一口。胡 ZONG心系群众的这一幕，深深打动了在场的所有人。

　　第一次
　　时间：2007年11月15日
　　11月15日，中直机关工委副书记赵凯一行，带着他们的深情厚意来到阜阳考察慰问。省人大常委会副主任、市委书记胡连松，省有关部门负责人张韶春、李宏塔，副市长刘绍太等陪同。
　　……
　　“楼盖好了，路加宽了，做饭用沼气了，生活提高了，这一切都要感谢党和政府对我们的关怀和支持。”在阜南县王家坝镇李郢村郑台孜庄台灾民建房点，５０多岁的郑继超拉着赵凯的手高兴地说。了解到倒房户们对新建住房非常满意时，赵凯非常高兴，他说，灾后重建工作事关群众切身利益，事关社会稳定，事关发展大局，大家一定要扎实工作，确保全面完成建房任务。
　　……
　　来源 http://www.ahxf.gov.cn/shownew.asp?ID=53372

　　第二次
　　时间：2007年11月23日
　　和刘文阁一样，王家坝镇李郢村郑台孜庄台受灾群众郑继超这两天心里一直很激动。11月23日，县、镇、村干部一起带着棉衣、棉被和面粉来到他家问寒问暖，再三询问有没有什么困难需要帮助。当该县副县长李国庆得知他家的倒房已建好，家中吃穿不愁时，才放心离去。穿上县长亲手递过的新棉袄，郑继超无比感激地说：“这棉袄又新又厚，穿在身上实在暖在心里，俺们群众没有想到的，政府都帮俺们想到了！”
　　来源 http://www.fy.gov.cn/html/20071205/200712051052274638.shtml

　　第三次
　　时间：2007年12月5日
　　12月5日，省委常委、副省长赵树丛在市委书记宋卫平，市委常委、常务副市长宋家伟等陪同下，深入到阜南县蒙洼蓄洪区看望慰问受灾群众
　　在王家坝镇李郢村郑台孜庄台灾后倒房安置点，赵树丛认真查看了安置点规划建设情况，并深入倒房户郑继超家中，详细了解老人的生产、生活情况。当看到郑继超家的倒房已建好，家中吃穿不愁时，赵树丛勉励老人要用好蓄洪补偿金，发展生产，快速致富。
　　在补偿金发放仪式后，赵树丛副省长深入受灾群众家中了解补偿金落实情况。在受灾户郑继超家门前的一堵院墙前，他驻足良久。墙上张贴着村民财产损失及政府补偿标准两张公告，当郑继超说这两张公告就是两本“明白账”，没有任何虚假时，他露出了满意的微笑。
　　郑继超说，为了核实受损情况，他家前前后后来了三四批人，每批人都拿着个本子认真记录他反映的情况，每家每户都是一本明账。拿着此次补贴的３９７９．８５元补偿金和5000元房倒补偿金，老郑说，他要把房子盖好，再把来年的生产安排好。
　　来源 http://www.fyradio.com.cn/Html/fynews/20071206192005.html
http://www.hf365.com/html/01/02/20071206/78602.htm

　　第四次
　　时间：2007年12月10日
　　12月10日，安徽省委副书记、代省长王三运在省政府秘书长张俊及省直有关部门负责同志陪同下，到我市调研指导工作。市委书记宋卫平，市委副书记、市长孙云飞等陪同。
　　……
　　随后，王三运来到阜南县王家坝镇郑台孜灾民建房点，视察灾后重建工作。在郑台孜，只见道路平坦，水塔耸立，村民脸上带着喜气，正在忙着新房的整饰扫尾工作。听取镇负责同志的情况汇报后，王三运十分高兴，他走进村民郑继超的三间新房，询问其建房的资金来源、房屋质量等情况，“对现在的新房满意吗？”“那可不！有政府支持，俺现在也住上了好房子。”王三运还把棉被送到郑继超的手中，嘱咐他注意冬季保暖。
　　……
　　市领导孟庆银、亓龙、王海彦、储金水、杜长平、刘绍太、胡明莹、陶克贵、李子鹏也陪同调研。
　　来源 http://www.kpwww.com/readnews.asp?newsid=1892

　　第五次
　　时间：2007年12月18日
　　记者采访：
　　郑继超
　　“当时，我感动得流下了眼泪。洪水退去不久，县里灾后核查和蓄洪补偿工作就开始了，我家可获得蓄洪补偿金一万多元钱。这下可把我乐坏了，我那会儿逢人就说：‘党就是咱老百姓的靠山，洪水再大，咱们也不用怕！’”
　　来源 http://www.glmj.gov.cn/news/xuanjiao/fengcai/2007/12/1802.htm

　　第六次
　　时间：2007年12月22日
　　记者采访
　　车行一个多小时，当记者再次踏进阜南县王家坝镇郑台孜庄台时不禁眼前一亮：原先破烂不堪的水毁房不见了，映入眼帘的是另一番景象：一排排崭新的平房，一档档光亮的栅栏，一条宽敞的水泥路直通庄台两头，水塔刚建成，周围栽上了花草……
　　透过铁栅栏，远远就看见村民郑继超正在院子里晒太阳。听说记者来采访，郑继超连忙站了起来，周围的邻居也三三两两地围了过来。
　　“你看俺们这房子从设计到规划，能不能跟城里房子相媲美？”“你们记者见得多，看看俺们这绿化得咋样？”老乡们你一言我一语地问记者，语气中满含喜悦。郑继超指着新建的房屋告诉记者说：“政府对俺真是关心，盖房子补贴了5000块，拉院子又给了几百块，那栅栏也是送的。现在俺家自来水接好了，沼气池也建好了，几天前镇里又送来两袋面，俺不愁吃、不愁住、不愁烧。天虽说冷，但俺们灾民心里感到暖暖的。”

Youtube视频地址为：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mspuiqlycJA&NR=1

担心其他的视频网站上已经被HX了。

源自2008年1月3日中国中央电视台新闻联播，转载请注明出处。

可怜的北京13岁小女孩张殊凡，本来是想上CCTV出出风头的，结果被CCTV恶搞了。让大家以为你13岁就知道SM了，能迅速判断出这是“很黄很暴力”。

小女孩长大后一定要记住，是CCTV出卖了你的隐私，教你学会撒谎，并且进一步忽悠了你。  ~_~

PS: 其实小女孩也许看见的是李小龙或者《Kill Bill》的照片也不一定。  ~_~

相关“很黄很暴力”图片：

是李小龙？

是《Kill Bill》？

难道是这个？ 声明：该图片来自qq.com 相关地址为：http://sports.qq.com/a/20061018/000165.htm

还是这个？ 声明：该图片来自cctv.com 相关地址为：http://news.cctv.com/society/20071226/101514.shtml

本页面的链接中还有如下一些文字和链接：

彭久洋又脱开了

女惯偷三演"脱裤秀"

男子性爱中掐死女友分尸 受审当庭跪哭(图)(第 1 页)

林彪一生的五个女人：周恩来干女儿最令他动心(第 1 页) 

.......................................

晚上和Connie通电话，得知她在如此忙碌的情况下，还是保持着早上跑步半小时，每天睡觉和起床也很准时。惭愧之下，决定11点半上床，结果夜猫子的秉性让我半夜又醒了。遂信手涂鸦，写完继续梦周公。

介于李教授的经历和著作，想要详细地探讨她研究方向的某一部分，显然远不是“半夜涂鸦”可以完成的工作。鄙人一小工科生，文笔也远不及诸多善于随手引经据典的“文艺人”（我只会用Google来查找文献），所以，还是直接看看李银河Blog吧，毕竟也和Internet这个工科的玩意沾边了。

李教授主要从事关于“性”的组织性或者团体性行为研究，其博客中除日常记事的内容，其引起媒体关注的博客其实只有很少几篇。而这些博客的内容，与其实是表达关于“性”的观点，还不如说是在表达关于保护社会个人权利的观点。我对李教授大部分的观点是很赞同的，或者说从学术角度来看不觉得有不妥。

此外，我非常钦佩您的一件事情就是，你提出《同性恋婚姻》立法。尽管同性恋立法除了社会认可，社会责任（牵涉社会保障等等）等问题，目前还不太可能马上在中国通过，尽管我不是同性恋，但是我真的很钦佩您做这件事情。

引起无脑娱记（原谅我这么说，我如同讨厌苍蝇一般讨厌这些人）关心的内容本质上是：保护同性恋权利、性心理错位者权利乃至个体或者群体私下进行和“性”相关行为的权利。结果被无脑娱记包装成了“乱伦”、“换妻”、“多边恋”诸如此类的文字。

这是一个不完美的世界，至少我个人是这么认为的。上帝创造了林肯，也随手创造了娱记，还有其他。我不知道李教授怎么看待这一点的？

但是我在李教授2006年2月的两篇博客上看到了关于犬儒主义的内容，以及李教授的两个决定：

第一，尽可能少接受记者采访。
第二，尽可能少发表与性有关的言论。

第一条是应该的。至于第二条，好吧，李教授决定犬儒化了。那么是不是就不再发表您的观点了？仅仅因为无脑娱记（我不认为您会认为他们有脑）的文字包装？如果这真的是李教授的决定，我不得不强烈的鄙视您了。你任由别人歪曲你的言论，然后以此宣布“受到压力”而“犬儒”，这还算什么学者？你的研究就是决定在这些人的手里吗？

还好，你事实上一条都没遵守，至于为什么没遵守第一条，我不了解。但是，我很开心，你并没有遵守第二条。

另外，李教授在2007年8月的一篇博客中猛烈抨击了演员孙海英关于同性恋的言论，并以希特勒为例。私下认为，你的做法实在有失一个学者的水准，类似于愤青。孙海英只是一个公民，他不喜欢同性恋，他自然有权利去厌恶，并且用言论表达自己的厌恶，但是他并不能就因此而侵犯任何一个同性恋的权利。如果人大立法宣布同性恋犯罪，那么你用希特勒作比方自然是对的。同时你也很恶毒的骂了孙海英，至少就这件事情上，你和孙海英的做法完全一样，甚至更出格，因为你直接针对的个人。孙海英不是学者，而你是，在你之后提出的和谐社会之类的言论，简直就是扇自己的耳光。

我希望以最大的善意去看待一个人，李教授的研究以及很多观点，都让人尊敬并且赞同，但是希望李教授不要轻易改变自己的身份，毕竟演员和学者是两个完全不同的职业。

写完，睡觉！

PS: 上周末，一个同性恋朋友和我聊了几句起关于同性恋受歧视的事情。我很不以为然，我认为目前法律上没有任何对于同性恋有偏向性的条文。那个朋友说，那还不是和异性恋一样啊。我说，“那你还希望超越，享受特权啊？”。此外，关于同性恋结婚的问题。我提了几个问题：“你们收养的孩子和你们之间的权利和义务怎么确定？你们是不是必须养大孩子，不得抛弃，孩子是不是也必须赡养你们？”，“你们如果发生离异，那么异性恋婚姻法完全适用吗？应该更偏向哪一方呢？”，“你们结婚后，对于彼此的父母之间的权利和义务怎么确定？”。。。。而这些内容，我想，正应该是李教授和法学学者去研究的。

http://www.amazingjoy.com/helpdailyliving/help01lonely.htm

by Eric Kreye

Loneliness--what is it? That is a hard question. Loneliness is not necessarily being alone. One individual described it this way: "Loneliness isn't being alone. That's solitude. It's feeling alone." (From The Pursuit of Happiness, by David G. Myers, p. 151.)

There are many lonely people in the world today. In fact, the number seems to be increasing in this modern electronic-controlled age. Lonely persons can be found in every profession, every economic level, every church, every ethnic group, every culture, every age group. The pain of loneliness is no respecter of persons. It can happen to the individual who lives alone and has no family at all to the person who is constantly surrounded by crowds of people. Loneliness is like a highly-contagious disease--it spreads throughout the world irrespective of borders or boundaries.

There are a number of factors that come to the surface when considering the causes of loneliness. Here are several:

Being different. This can happen to a child in school, to a person who marries into a foreign family and doesn't know the language, or how about one who is deaf or blind?

A wealthy person can suffer loneliness. Even though there may be plenty of people around, it might be hard for this person to find a real friend.

Some marriages foster loneliness when the partners do not share the same values or interests.

Loneliness in new environments. We live in the rapid age of mobility. People tend to move from one area to another much more frequently than a generation earlier. It can mean that there is no longer a support system of friends and family and it takes longer to establish links of friendship again.

Divorce. In America we are seeing nearly half of marriages ending in divorce. Divorce means not only that two individuals are very lonely, but the children involved in the break-up experience the painful result of their own broken world. Often the resulting loneliness affects the children for years to come.

Loss. When a couple has been married for many years and suddenly they are separated by the death of the spouse, the remaining partner experiences the excruciating pain of loneliness. This loss may last for a few weeks, months, or even years.

If you experience the loss of a job or profession through no fault of your own, you may not only suffer loneliness but perhaps an intense sense of failure and low self-esteem. It can be so debilitating that it is nearly impossible to think in terms of searching for a suitable job.

Loss takes a generous amount of time to heal.

There are many causes of loneliness. We have touched on just a few. Whatever the cause, what can be done to change to a positive direction? Here are a few suggestions:

1. For a while at least keep a loneliness journal. The more you learn about what makes you feel so lonely, the more possible to find solutions. In the process of writing a journal, you actually admit that you are quite lonely. That is a good beginning. Remember, it is not a sign of weakness to be lonely. One cannot find a solution until one admits that there is a problem. Keep track of what triggers your feelings of loneliness. Have you felt lonely for some time, or is it related to a specific event? Do you think it stems from your own actions, or perhaps your own personality contributes to the difficulty? What do you think you can do to bring about an improvement or a resolution?

2. Get involved in helping some other person who is lonely. One young man headed for a Wal-Mart store to do a little shopping. He noticed an old man sipping a cup of coffee in the snack area. Thinking the old man looked lonely, the shopper decided to speak to him. Pulling up a chair next to the seemingly lonely man, he wished him a good morning.

The man looked up in surprise and said, "You're the first person who has said good morning to me in years."

After a long conversation, the shopper turned to the elderly man and said, "I've got to go now, but I want to shake your hand."

Happily the man offered his hand, saying, "I can't remember the last time I shook hands with anyone."

Now the two men meet at Wal-Mart every week to eat breakfast together and swap stories.

A touching story shared by a hospital chaplain shows how meaningful the little attentions can be to lonely people.

While visiting a hospital patient, the chaplain casually remarked, "Will you be having visitors while you're here?" "I'm afraid not," the patient said quietly. "You see, I don't have a friend in the whole world. They say I was nearly dead when I came here. Good thing I dialed for help when I did."

"Is there anyone who knows you?" the chaplain said in disbelief.

"No, sir. I'm telling you the truth. I had a phone put in, hoping that somebody would call a wrong number and for a few moments I'd think that someone was actually thinking about me. But the phone never rings." A few tears ran from his eyes, but then he stopped speaking altogether because the experience was so painful to talk about.

The beauty of it all is that the moment we become our brother's or sister's keeper, it will help us break through our own loneliness, whatever the situation or circumstance!

3. Make sure your expectations are realistic.One young lady became engaged to a handsome man who served in the service of our country. In her imagination, her life with this dashing young man was very romantic and all she could envision was a happy, traditional home. Is it any wonder that the reality of a long separation, when her husband was called overseas, left her lonely and disillusioned? Fortunately, they were able to communicate with each other about the realities of military life and this helped bring her a degree of contentment.

4. Take a break from television. Watching episodes on TV can lead one to live in an imaginary world. It often reduces time for positive relationships, talking and listening to others, having eye contact with family and friends. Take time to develop and enhance interpersonal relationships by turning the knob to OFF as frequently as necessary.

5. Decide you won't be driven. Some lonely people find themselves driven to locate someone that will take away their loneliness. They go from place to place with just that goal in mind. There are some who feel a need for friendship, but by their own unusual behavior repel others instead of bringing them into a genuine friendship.

One man was attending a support group for singles and approached a lady who had lost her mate a few months earlier. He immediately said, "I think we ought to get together. I'd really like to take you out to dinner sometime so we can talk about our common interests."

There was an awkward silence as the woman busied herself with her coat. Then she took a seat on the opposite side of the room away from the man.

6. If you have a family, simplify your life. Families who are not lonely have learned to live with fewer material possessions so they can have more time together as a family. Children whose parents are extremely involved, barely ever around, end up either clinging or becoming aloof in relating to others. Lacking self-confidence and trust, such children are prone to chronic loneliness. Put your family first on the list!

7. Have balance in your life. It takes discipline and patience, and sometimes it means adjusting to priorities, to strike a balance between work, relationships, rest and relaxation, and also planning some time alone.

8. Good nutrition is invaluable. The food we eat affects our moods, and even what we don't eat can be devastating and hurtful. For instance, those who habitually do not eat breakfast are inviting difficulties presently and in the future.

9. Exercise--even something as simple as walking every day--gives one a sense of well-being. It increases the endorphins in the system and this helps produce more positive feelings. This will also help a person get a good night's rest.

These three things--good nutrition, exercise, plenty of good sleep--will help reduce a sense of loneliness.

10. Avoid the trap of competition. During a church leadership seminar, one evangelist after another was brought to the front to share his success in having a number of baptisms. Later one pastor was found sitting in a darkened corner of a lounge, weeping. He finally admitted that he felt alone, separated from his colleagues, because he did not measure up to the success of the others. He had success in other areas of pastoral work, but he felt the pressure of competing with the speakers of the day.

11. Don't overlook the benefits of touching. Lonely people should decide that they will be open to the appropriate touch of others and take the opportunity themselves to touch others as well--yes, even a traditional handshake can give a real lift and can be of encouragement like the lonely old man in Wal-Mart mentioned above.

A woman in California decided to visit a friend whose husband had recently died quite suddenly. The visitor didn't know what she would say, but when her friend opened the door, they fell into each other's arms and wept openly. Not much was said, but later the widow expressed how much it had meant to her to have her friend's arms around her at this crucial time. That touch of love and caring meant more than any words that could have been said!

12. Hobbies. Professional counselors often encourage their lonely patients to get involved in a hobby. Such activities offer not only relaxation and pure enjoyment, but they help make leisure time more meaningful. Many well-known people have hobbies that help them relax. Prime Minister Winston Churchill enjoyed painting and writing--and even the art of bricklaying! Franklin Roosevelt collected stamps and worked with model ships. President Dwight Eisenhower golfed and painted. Others have occupied themselves with pets, made baskets, carved soap figures, or collected good books and spent many happy hours reading.

And just maybe an interesting hobby will lead to new friends who enjoy the same activity!

13. Strengthen your relationship with God. Just one caution: One lady suffering from loneliness turned to religion, thinking she would find answers there. Church people told her that her loneliness would completely disappear if she turned her life over to God. These well-meaning individuals gave her the impression that all this would happen immediately. In other words, one day you are a lonely sinner; the next day you can be totally free of crippling loneliness.

Although she gave her life to God, her chronic loneliness did not vanish overnight. When she spoke of this to her friends at church, they assured her that she should by now have found relief. Then she suffered seriously from guilt, believing that she had not completely given her life to God. Maybe she hadn't prayed hard enough? Perhaps she should begin doing more for God? Or God could Perhaps God was punishing her for the bad things she had done before giving her life to Him?

Her struggles continued for months until her loneliness and discouragement turned into depression. When her friends heard about her bouts of depression, they casually and unthinkingly told her that a good Christian does not get depressed. That sent her into deeper depression. The pain was so intense that she would sit at a traffic light and contemplate pulling out in front of an 18-wheeler and end it all. That's when she decided to seek the help of a Christian counselor. He was able to have this suffering lady understand that conquering chronic loneliness was an on-going process in which God would play a major part--she must keep trusting Him!

Three years have passed and she has now found peace, except for an occasional period of loneliness.

Remember that Jesus Himself suffered the pain of loneliness. He ran up against the traditions of His own people and felt rejected. Others insisted on bringing up His seeming illegitimate birth and throwing it in His face. People put Him down because of where He was born--"can any good thing come out of Nazareth?" He was mistreated and made fun of because of His lowly trade as carpenter and His lack of education. They questioned His motives. In the Garden of Gethsemane He suffered intensely the pain of loneliness. His closest friends deserted Him. Falsely accused He died a death He did not deserve.

Yes, Jesus knows about our loneliness and understands us when we go through this DARK VALLEY. We may at times feel lonely, unloved, weak, rejected, and even abandoned, but the great God of heaven is intensely aware of our situation.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name,
you are mine....
...you are precious in my sight,
and honored,
and I love you...."
--Isaiah 43:1, 4